


XXV. A Well-Intentioned Disaster of a Day

by BubblyWashingMachine



Series: Every Little Hurt Counts [febuwhump 2021] [25]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, FebuWhump2021, Febuwhump, Gen, God I'm tired, Guilt, Happy Ending, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Klaus Hargreeves Whump, Non-Linear Narrative, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Whump, Number Five | The Boy-centric, POV Number Five | The Boy, Vanya Hargeeeves Whump, Whump, car crash, febuwhumpday25
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29695839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubblyWashingMachine/pseuds/BubblyWashingMachine
Summary: “No, no,” he growls, searching for a way out, hand running over glass. “I’m not falling unconscious.”Five kicks out wildly. He hits something - pain rockets through him and a wave of nausea follows. When he turns his head, struggling to breathe, feeling like the car is crushing him, he sees Klaus’ upside-down face, unconscious – dead? – and peaceful, a trickle of red trailing from his eyebrow into his hairline.“Klaus!” Five shouts, his voice cracking. “Vanya! Anyone?”No response.Déjà vu....Set vaguely after season two, in an AU without the sparrows. Five, Vanya, and Klaus get into a car crash.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves
Series: Every Little Hurt Counts [febuwhump 2021] [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137428
Comments: 20
Kudos: 131





	XXV. A Well-Intentioned Disaster of a Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eyeofxana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyeofxana/gifts).



> this is short and also maybe not amazing :( but i like it! not every febuwhump is created equal. that is fine. i'm fine.
> 
> dedicated to the lovely eyeofxana because this ended up being closest to their suggestion from way back when I asked for ideas for this prompt! I love you eyeofxana!! :D
> 
> Non-linear narrative is happening here, if you're confused...uh, use your brain and you'll be fine idk but whatever you do don't think about the context of when this is or anything, just don't think about it it doesn't matter ahhh just embrace the pain
> 
> warning: I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOSPITALS AND I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A CAR CRASH
> 
> i am getting tired............ i have another headache today. ouch

Five feels as if his eyelids have been glued shut.

His head pounds, something wet and coppery in his mouth – ah. He’s bitten his tongue. There is a ringing in his ears.

He takes note of all the unfamiliar pains – something is wrong with his left leg, his left arm, and his head – and then files them away, smothering the discomfort so that he can focus. It’s a useful skill.

He pries his eyes open, unfocused, and can’t quite make sense of what he sees. A mess of grey, metal, white, glass, red—

_Seatbelt,_ Dolores whispers, and his hand – the one he can feel – fumbles around until it finds the clasp. He undoes it. He falls.

That’s gravity – he was upside down. The car – the car is upside down. Five groans.

_Klaus and Vanya,_ Dolores says urgently. _Where are they?_

“Klaus,” he tries to say, and spits out blood. “Vanya? You hear me?”

No response. He feels, simultaneously, a flare of white-hot panic, and the brain-melting sensation of static rushing up to meet him, clouding over his eyes.

“No, no,” he growls, searching for a way out, hand running over glass. “I’m _not_ falling unconscious.”

He kicks out wildly with his legs. He hits something. Pain rockets through him and a wave of nausea follows.

When he turns his head, struggling to breathe, feeling like the car is crushing him, he sees Klaus’ upside-down face, unconscious – _dead? –_ and peaceful, a trickle of red trailing from his eyebrow into his hairline.

“Klaus!” Five shouts, his voice cracking. “ _Vanya_! Anyone?”

Déjà vu.

_You’re passing out,_ Dolores warns him.

He can’t fight it.

…

“Because you can’t fucking _drive_ ,” Diego snaps. “You don’t have a license!”

Five scowls, this argument is ridiculous. “I don’t need some piece of _paper_ to tell me what I can or can’t do. I can drive.”

“You know what the _law_ is _,_ though!”

“Since when do _you_ care about the law, Diego?”

“That’s different. This impacts _all_ of us, not just you.”

“Irrelevant,” he snaps.

“Not irrelevant! Because if you go out driving looking like a thirteen-year-old, it’s _us_ who’re gonna be arrested for letting a _child_ drive.”

“Then you _lie_ ,” Five says, fractious. “Tell them I stole it.”

“ _Ugh!_ You are _not_ going out there when you can’t even see over the—”

“Diego,” Vanya says. She places a hand on his arm, gives him a warning look. “I’ll talk to him. Maybe take a minute to cool off?”

He shuts his eyes and breathes out. “He won’t listen to reason,” Diego says, stalking away.

“Ah, but he listens to Vanya,” Klaus says from where he’s hanging off the counter. Five rolls his eyes.

Vanya comes and sits next to him, looking unsure of herself. She opens her mouth, and then hesitates.

“I’m frustrated,” Five tells her, the words coming unbidden. “I’m not _trying_ to infuriate him.”

“We know,” she says. “It’s… a sucky situation you’re in. I can’t imagine how you must feel, with everyone treating you like a child.”

“I don’t have my license!” Klaus contributes. “And neither does Luther.”

“I was independent, completely self-reliant,” Five says, ignoring him, “for a long, long time. I don’t need a driver’s license to tell me…” he breaks off. “It doesn’t matter, does it? This _body_ isn’t even old enough to apply for one anyway.”

“Not yet,” Vanya says gently. “But there have to be some upsides, don’t there?”

“Like _what_.”

“No aching back, I bet,” she says wistfully. “I envy you that. And… you’re full of youthful energy, aren’t you?”

He stares at her, and says flatly, “Only at the cost of losing my dignity. _And_ my temper.”

“You lost those things ages ago,” Klaus says flippantly. “You’re still only looking for negatives. Think of it this way – when we’re sad old crones with wrinkly hands, _you’ll_ still be a strapping young lad.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” Five says rigidly, feeling his face go cold. “I’ll most likely vastly outlive all of you.”

“Um.” Klaus looks at Vanya. “I think he got the wrong message.”

“Five,” Vanya says, her eyes wide. “You don’t have to – you shouldn’t be worrying about that! That’s a long way off.”

“But it’s inevitable,” Five glowers at the floor and tries not to blink. “I’m just being—”

“Realistic.”

“Yes.”

Vanya is quiet.

“Well, for once, don’t be,” she says after a second, and stands up sharply. “Come on. Let’s do something – all three of us.”

“What?” Five struggles to stay irritated as she tugs him up from his seat. “What are you talking about?”

“Bonding activity!” Klaus whoops.

Vanya scribbles a note onto a scrap piece of sheet music she produces from her pocket – Five leans over her should and reads the words, _‘Dear Diego - taking your car. Very, very sorry. Thank you, love you - Vanya.’_ He frowns.

“I haven’t agreed to any—”

Klaus and Vanya take one of his arms each, dragging him out of the room. Vanya says, smiling, “You have a second chance at life, Five. Don’t you wanna _live_ it?”

“We should go bowling,” Klaus says, squealing. The sound, though annoying, is slightly infectious, and Five fights a smile.

“This is frivolous,” he says anyway, just so that they know he’s not enjoying himself too much.

“All the best things are,” Klaus says.

“And guess what?” Vanya grins. “I’ll even let you drive.”

Klaus gasps. “Vanya! What a little delinquent you’ve become… it’s because you’ve been spending too much time with us, isn’t it? I’m _so_ proud.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Five says quickly, glaring, and Vanya chuckles.

“Don’t tell Diego, okay? If anyone pulls us over, we’ll say… it’s a lesson.”

Five notes the way she’s chewing her lip, looking at him hopefully, fiddling with her pencil. This means a lot to her. She’s breaking the _law_.

“All right,” he says, brushing past her out the door and towards the car. “Stop dawdling, then.”

Numbers Four and Seven grin widely.

…

Five gasps, his eyes flying open.

The light above him is painful and searing – he flinches. The sharp smell of an infirmary – _hospital,_ Dolores corrects – is immediately recognizable and accosting. He gags.

His body aches.

There is movement. A person.

“Where are my siblings?” he snarls, adrenaline waking him up like a slap to the face. “Where _are they_?”

The nurse steps backward, eyes wide. “Um—"

“Useless. I need to find them.” He tries to sit up, and finds that he can’t. He rips out the IV drip and forces himself to his elbows – dizziness turns his head to mush.

“Hey, there, it’s alright,” the nurse says placatingly, holding his hands up and coming closer. “You need to—”

“Don’t tell me what I need,” Five barks. Everything inside him is screaming to get out of this place. He bares his teeth, daring the man to step any closer. “Where are they?”

“You were in an accident. Are your siblings the two adults in the car?”

“ _Yes._ ”

“They’re still in surgery,” the nurse says. “Now please, you have to lie back and let me—”

“You’re not _touching_ me!”

“You’re badly hurt, just hold on—”

“I need to _see them_ ,” Five howls, jerking into a sitting position. He can't blink - energy warps around him, spent. His body is too busy healing itself to let him spacial jump. _My fault, my fault._ Everything hurts so much. Out of nowhere, there are people surrounding him, blocking out the light.

_They’re not trying to hurt you!_ Dolores yells. _Calm yourself!_

“Let go of me, you _animals!_ ” Five disregards her. A hand presses down at his shoulder, urging him to lie back; he thrashes, and they pin him down. The hand comes too close – he sinks his teeth into it and doesn’t let go until he tastes blood. Someone is screaming – he doesn’t _think_ it’s him.

There is a sharp stinging at his neck.

This is _just_ like the Commission – they’re going to cut him open; they’ll keep Vanya and Klaus hostage until he complies, he has to find them, he has to save – he has to—

…

“Shotgun!” Klaus yelps, scrambling to the other side of the car.

“You’re such a child,” Five mutters. He sits in the driver’s seat and immediately has to adjust the chair and mirrors to his height.

Vanya climbs in the back, glancing nervously behind her at the mansion. “We better hurry.”

Five puts the car into drive and pulls out of the spot, completely at ease. Two trashcans get in his way, and a passing car swerves dangerously, honking.

“Oh my God,” Klaus says. “You’re a terrible driver.”

“I am _not_ ,” Five says sharply.

“You are! I never noticed before.” Klaus laughs as another car swerves to avoid them. Five grits his teeth, resisting the urge to reach over and smack his brother.

“I’m driving at the socially acceptable speed limit.”

“You can’t go in a straight line!”

“Uh, guys,” Vanya says, “maybe don’t fight while Five is operating heavy machinery.”

“Wait, _that’s_ what that means?”

“Where am I going?” Five interrupts. “The bowling alley?” He has the whole city’s layout memorized – he plans the route in his head with confidence.

“Sure.”

Klaus laughs, clapping his hands and bouncing in his seat. “Hey, that’s another upside – I bet children’s tickets are cheaper! You get all the perks!”

Five turns sharply to glare at him, even as Klaus continues laughing. “Don’t think for a second that I won’t push you out of this vehicle if you don’t—"

“Five – eyes on the road!” Vanya yelps.

“It’s fine,” he says flatly, and Klaus sticks his tongue out. “I know what I’m—”

…

“You fucking _wrecked_ my car, you asshole!”

“Yes.”

“You stole it, and then you _crashed_ it.”

“Yes.” Technically, it was Vanya’s idea. But Five isn’t going to throw her under the bus twice in one day – Diego is right to direct his anger at him. After all, Five is the only one conscious. He was injured the least badly. Always, _always_ the last one standing. Cruel.

“You leave without telling me, leave me a _stupid_ note, and of course I’m freaking out, and then I get a c-call from the _hospital_ saying that you almost killed yourself and then _bit_ someone—”

“Yes,” Five murmurs.

Diego paces around, glaring at any doctors who edge close. Five sits in his stupid hospital bed in his stupid casts and stews in self-hatred. “Shit. _Shit_. This is so lame.”

“Yes.”

“Can you take this seriously?” Diego yells, his voice breaking. His eyes are wet. “This is your fault! They’re r-r-re-real—” he breaks off, letting out a frustrated grunt. “ _Really_ hurt.”

“I am,” Five says stupidly. “I _know_. I know.”

“ _Do_ you?”

“ _Yes!”_ Five snaps. “I do! I acknowledge that – that it was a mis-mistake! _Okay?_ I’m sorry!”

Diego stares at him, lips parted. “Shit, Five. I’m… sorry.”

“What are _you_ sorry for?” Five growls, his eyes stinging. “It was my fault!”

“I didn’t mean – I was just upset.”

“You _should_ be!”

“I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Diego says helplessly.

Five jolts back. His head pounds. “I’m _not._ ”

Diego says, “You are, though.”

“No,” Five says, touching his cheek. It’s wet. “Oh.”

“Do you – w-want a hug, or—”

Five already knows he must look like a hormone-riddled teenager having a breakdown. He thinks that’s enough humiliation. “Do _you_?”

“Um. Kinda?”

“Then fine,” he says. “But I can’t move.”

“What?” Diego frowns, wiping his nose.

“I have two broken limbs, moron.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Just come here,” he grumbles, and Diego gives him the most uncomfortable hug he’s ever experienced in his life. He lasts for about three seconds. “Now get off.”

Diego jumps back, looking relieved. “You feeling better?”

“Not in the slightest,” he says.

The nurse comes over, eyeing Five and with a hand in his pocket, probably gripping a syringe. “I have good news,” he says, with a forced edge of brightness.

Five leans forward just to see the man flinch. “Oh?”

“Your siblings are out of surgery,” he says edgily.

“Can we see them now?” Diego asks intently, stepping forward, and the nurse sighs.

“Normally we wouldn’t allow it,” he says, glancing at Five. “but we’re willing to make an – exception.”

“Good,” Five says. “I want to see them.”

…

A scream.

He turns the wheel too quickly.

The squealing of rubber tires against the road.

Noise – unbearably loud.

Flashes of light – pain. Ringing.

Five’s head hurts.

Dusk.

…

“But I’m hungry!”

Five recoils. “The answer is no.”

Klaus jabs a finger at him. “I have internal bleeding, brother. This is the _least_ you can do.”

“I’m not spoon-feeding you,” Five snaps. “Heal faster and feed yourself.”

“Klaus, come on,” Diego says, looking up from his chair beside Vanya’s bed. “You have one working hand. You’ll be fine.”

“Vanya,” Klaus whines, turning to her with begging eyes. “Can’t you make him?”

“I’m not choosing sides,” she says.

Klaus drops the begging eyes and glares at Five. “I bet you’d do it if _she_ asked.”

“Vanya has self-respect,” Five says back, very much avoiding answering.

“I have self-respect!”

“You have self-obsession,” Diego says, and Klaus drops back with a groan.

“I want a different family. Where’s Luther? I know he wouldn’t be able to refuse me.”

“Luther can’t drive,” Diego says. “And no taxis will stop for him. So he’s coming here very slowly.”

“Allison?”

“On a plane, idiot. And if you think _she’ll_ feed you, you’re even stupider than you look.”

Klaus stabs his spoon into the pudding, pouting. “Fine. Whatever. At least they’ve put me on enough meds that I can only _hear_ the screaming of the dead, instead of having to see them, too.”

Five feels his iron resolve breaking.

“Hospitals are the worst,” Klaus continues. “So many ghosts. People who died without any family who loved them.”

Vanya is watching his struggle, and grins. He glares at her – he finds it difficult not to focus on the bandages wrapping her head – the guilt eats him up inside, and he knows she hates that. She was spared the worst of it, anyway - her powers shielded her, but she was still knocked unconscious. 

_Not helpful._ She only grins more.

“I could have been one of those ghosts.” Klaus swirls the spoon around. “No one loves me.”

“You’re pathetic,” Five tells him.

“So will you—”

“I will feed you the fucking pudding,” Five says, sullen, “because I _love_ you.”

Klaus beams.

“We love you too,” Diego says.

“Yeah!” Vanya laughs, holding out her bruised arms. “We do.”

“Even though you almost killed us,” Klaus says.

“And you destroyed my car.”

“Next time we’re taking the bus,” Five mutters.

**Author's Note:**

> honestly? is this even good? I feel like it's not. but to be fair i am SICK of writing afdhfgfjjd
> 
> btw I am still searching for the perfect idea for 'I wish i had never given you a chance' so if you have any brainwaves... hand them over please
> 
> see you tomorrow friends!! i am so fond of you all, i love reading your comments so much. I'm gonna miss you after february is over and I can finally pass away <3


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